It Will Always Be You
by chibi-kusa
Summary: AUish Oneshot. We never realise the importance of someone or something to us, until we lose the very thing that's held dearly in our hearts... Too bad, Hotohori never thought of his real feelings towards a certain purplehead. HotohoriNuriko. Be warned.


**Disclaimer **Okay, okay. I'll admit that I have no ownership or whatsoever of Fushigi Yuugi. Don't sue me. I just borrowed them to do some torturing only…

**

* * *

It Will Always Be You**

'…' thought

"…" talk

_Italic _flashback

* * *

He sighed as he watched the sun rose yet again promising the upcoming day that will be filled with anxiety, as always. Since yesterday's incident, he found himself more worried than he used to be. It's been a full two weeks since Miaka and his other six comrades left the grounds of Konan to endure another journey in search of the Shinzaho at the outer regions. He knew that he should trust his fellow friends to be able to take care of such things and return home in a piece. Just like how they left Konan. Not that he meant his comrades were untrustworthy or anything. But he just could not get over the nervous and over-worried feelings that lurched in the pit of his stomach. He shut his eyes as he felt the warmth of the heat radiating from the sun clasped around him. Fresh memories of yesterday's incident entered his minds. 

_

* * *

_

_As always, Hotohori sat on his desk, doing his normal emperor work. Signing off documents, planning the army's preparation, and not to forget, worrying his head off over Miaka and the others. He was signing one of the papers when it happened. He felt like his heart was ripped out of his body. The pain. It suddenly struck his body, paralysing every nerve and making every organ numb. The feather-thing he had used as a pen slipped out of his hand and fell on the floor soundlessly._

"_Hotohori-sama? Are you okay?" his council advisor asked, concern written over his face as he picked up the feather and placed it on his highness's desk._

"_I'm fine, Sho . Thanks."_

_Hotohori smiled, trying to reassure Sho and made him believe he was fine after all. Once Sho was out, a frown appeared on Hotohori's face. He clutched his heart softly, trying to ease the pain that threatened to burn his entire insides.  
_

* * *

Hotohori unconsciously clutched his heart as he refreshed the memories of the pain he felt. Why? Why was he feeling the sudden pain? It can't be. He can't be dying, can he? He just had his weekly medical check-up a few days back. There were no symptoms of having any serious illness. Or maybe it could have concerned his comrades. Without realising it, a name suddenly slipped out of Hotohori's lips at the mentioning of his comrades. The thing was, it wasn't Miaka's, his unrequited love, or Tamahome's, his rival, or anyone that had any connections or had whatsoever the reason was that it must have escaped the lips of Hotohori's. It was…

"Nuriko…"

* * *

He hummed a tune that he created to suit with his newly written poem as he walked down the corridor of the Konan palace, a breakfast meal in his hands. He was about to turn into the corner that leads to Hotohori's chamber when he saw a glimpse of the long-haired emperor leaning onto the railing of the corridor. He stopped dead in his tracks, pondering whether he should or should not interrupt his highness. He was afraid if he would disturb his highness's private time but at the same time, he was afraid of other things. What if the emperor was so tired of waiting his breakfast that he went out in order to make sure of his meal's arrival and that he was thinking of some punishments? 'Nah. It couldn't be.' The emperor's smiling. 'Wait a minute. Maybe he was thinking of a great idea for the punishment?' Hitting himself mentally, the blond-haired was about to enter the corridor when he heard the emperor whispered a name…It was….

"Nuriko…."

And Sho stood there frozen.

* * *

Hotohori sighed again. He spun around to see Sho gaping at him, something familiar was in his hands. Hotohori raised an eyebrow as he asked, "Sho? What's the matter?"

"Huh?" Hotohori's question seemed to melt Sho back to reality. "Oh…um…Nothing. It's nothing, Hotohori-sama. I've brought your breakfast as always. May I?"

"Sure, as always. Why not?"

* * *

"Hotohori?!"

Hotohori nearly choked at his meal as he heard his name being mentioned by a voice that he couldn't ever forget to whom it was belong to.

"Miaka?!"

"Hotohori!" Miaka exclaimed happily through the magic mirror. It was the mirror that Taiitsu-kun had given to Chichiri and Hotohori to allow them to communicate. Well, not specifically to Chichiri but since he was the only one Taiitsu-kun found reliable. Not that it meant anything to Hotohori. Well, that was very much expected from the former teacher to Chichiri, anyways.

"I'm sorry, Hotohori-sama, na noda," Chichiri said, suddenly perked out from behind Miaka. "It had been quite…uh…busy. We were occupied with lots of things happening here."

"No, it's okay, really." Hotohori reassured the monk. "So, how is it over there, Miaka?"

"It's okay," Miaka replied. Hotohori can't help but noticed the slight sadness in her voice. "It is okay over here." Miaka repeated, this time a little bit cheerful, trying to cover up her sad tone just now.

"Wh-?"

"We had found the Genbu's Shinzaho!" Miaka exclaimed, cutting Hotohori's previous question.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. But…it was stolen. By the Seiryu…"

"Oh, I see." Hotohori frowned at the saddened look of Miaka. "It's okay. We could get it back. I believe we will succeed."

"Really?"

"Yes. Besides, it was ours. We could get it back anytime we want, right?"

"Um!" Miaka nodded, grinning. Hotohori smiled back. Somehow, Miaka's smile always made him smile back. Hotohori raised an eyebrow as he saw Chichiri's sudden gesture on Miaka. Miaka turned to look at Chichiri before nodding and looked back at Hotohori.

"Anou, ne, Hotohori. When we travelled to find Genbu's Shinzaho…something occurred." He could have sworn he felt his heart doing some somersault. Why this feeling suddenly entered him? It was a question he had had since yesterday. Looking at Miaka, who was biting her bottom lip, Hotohori just nodded calmly, urging the red-haired girl to continue where she had left off.

"Nuriko…he…"

"What?! What happened to Nuriko?!"

Miaka was taken aback by Hotohori's sudden outburst. She hadn't expected such reaction from the always so-calm emperor. Hotohori, not realising he had rose from his seat, sat back. He ran a nervous finger through his hair, trying to calm himself. He wondered why the fact that something that involved the purple-haired guy could make him so nervous. By the looks from Miaka, he knew it was something bad. But he didn't know why it was sparking such anger in himself.

"I'm sorry. Please continue."

Miaka, returning back to her current self, nodded. "He…he died defending us and trying to fight off Ashitare of the Seiryu Shichi Seishi." Miaka let out the breath she hadn't realised she had held on for a long time. She then looked at Hotohori worriedly. 'I think I've said that too fast.'

"Hotohori, I-?"

"So…Nuriko…Nuriko is dead now, huh?" Hotohori said, cutting Miaka off. Miaka, who was about to ask again her question, closed her mouth and nodded sadly. "Hotohori, I-,"

"Um…Miaka? I'm sorry to cut our conversation short but I have some important country business to attend. I'm sorry. So, may I?" Hotohori said, looking away, avoiding Miaka's concerned look.

"I guess…I guess it is okay. We could talk again some other time, okay, Hotohori?"

Hotohori nodded, not glancing a little bit at Miaka.

"Take care…bye."

* * *

Truth was…there were no country matters. He just didn't felt like continuing the conversation.

Hotohori slumped back on his chair. 'He's dead…' the thought repeated itself in his mind. The ache returned back and Hotohori found himself clutching his heart again. It hurts…the fact. The reality…hurts so much. Hotohori closed his eyes as he felt something warm welled up in the corner of the topaz yellow eyes of his. 'Nuriko is dead…' Hotohori looked at his palms, resting on his lap. He saw his tears dropped one by one into the palm that had once touched Kohrin. No, it was Nuriko now. But he was Kohrin when he lived in this palace. Kohrin, his bride-to-be. Hotohori laughed softly as he reminisce the memories he had had with Nuriko. He fingered the tears that streaked his beautiful skin. 'These tears…they fell because of him…Because of Nuriko. They fell because of Nuriko.' Hotohori laughed again. 'Bastard. I cried because I had lost him again. Again….' And the tears had accompanied him all night until he fell asleep on his chair.

_

* * *

_

_Damn it. He's lost again. Oh, shucks. He knew he should have sneaked out with his father's map along. He knew he was in trouble. He had been told over and over again that it was dangerous out here, especially in the middle of the night like this. But he ignored it all. He just had to. Because he didn't want to miss this opportunity, again. The brown-haired boy scanned his surroundings carefully. 'Alright. Coast clear!' Cautiously, he moved as fast as he could, at the same time, trying the best not to make any sound. 'Where is she?' He knew she should be around here somewhere at this time of the night. But he can't actually remember which part of the grave where she always stood. Mentally cursing himself for his carelessness, he moved swiftly through the forest, his eyes searching for any trace of a certain girl. And then he saw it. The beautiful skin bathed under the moonlight, framed by her unique but prettily coloured purple hair that swayed softly, following the steady rhythm of the light night breeze. She was the prettiest creature he had ever seen. Totally entranced by the beauty before him, he didn't realise where he was going and accidentally stepped on a twig, resulting the girl's sudden alert._

"_Who goes there?" the girl asked, spinning around, checking for any signs of any outsiders._

"_I'm…I'm sorry." He apologised as he made his way out of his hideout, shrugging of the leaves on his white clothing._

"_What are you doing there? Are you peeping on me?" the girl asked, taking a step back. Her face wore a stern look._

"_No, no. I- I was just- I was just…lost." The boy stuttered. Nodding at his confidence in his last sentence, he repeated, "I was lost."_

"_Lost?" the girl asked, her expression softened._

_He would have smiled like he was in heaven if it wasn't for the fact that he was trapped in a situation that could make him depressed like he was in hell. "Uh…yes. I was looking for my guardian until I saw you. And uh…I was thinking whether you could… help me?"_

"_Guardian?" she asked again, raising one of her beautifully curved eyebrow._

_Oh, shucks. He mentally cursed himself for being so careless. "I mean my uncle. He…he was supposed to look after me while…uh…my parents went…uh…abroad." Okay, now, he's in a real pinch. 'Shoot. I can't think of an informal word for abroad. Which is it? Which is it? Come on, think, dumb ass. Whoa…that was harsh. Oh, forget that. Shucks, shucks, shucks. I knew I should have paid attention to Fuwei-sensei. Wargh! I should have –,' "Huh?" this time, it was his turn to raise and eyebrow. "Did you just say something?"_

"_I said, 'Come on.'!"_

"_Huh? Come- why?" he asked as he was dragged along by the girl._

"_You said you're lost, right?" she said._

"_Uh, yeah?"_

"_So, come on. Let's go back to my house. It's chilly outside here."_

_For a moment there, he can't believe his ears. Did she just say something that meant she believed him? And her hands…Her soft fingers are clasping itself around his wrist. This is not a dream, right? He really felt like he was in heaven right now, if it wasn't for the fact that someone was calling him…_

"Hotohori-sama?!" Sho's familiar voice echoed through his mind.

"What is it?" Hotohori unconsciously snapped at Sho, his hands massaging his temple. Why must it occur while he was sleeping? And why did his bed felt so hard all of the sudden? Wait a minute…hard?

Hotohori scanned the room. His bed was metres away from where he slept…Which means…

"You were sleeping on the chair, Hothohori-sama."

"I know that." Hotohori snapped again.

Sho was a little bit taken aback there but he's determined not to show any sign of it. Hotohori stood up, only to be found a few seconds later slumped back on his chair when he heard his bone creaked. 'I swear I'm not going to sleep in this chair again.' Hotohori said to himself as he stood up and glared at the chair menacingly for making him having such a bad backache. Slowly, he moved towards his bed and sat on it.

"So?"

"Huh?"

"What is it that you want to tell me, now? I could tell that you aren't here only to say I was sleeping on a chair, are you?"

"Uh…yes, your highness. I believe I got some matters in hand that concerns the future of the country."

Hotohori raised an eyebrow. "And, what is it?"

"I think it's time. For you to have an heir."

* * *

'Damn…must it be now? I just lost my once bride-to-be!'

Hotohori eyed Sho from top to bottom. He scanned the determined look on Sho's face. Scanning for what, only god knows. Hotohori took a deep breath.

"Fine. Prepare the candidates by tomorrow."

"Hotohori-sama-,"

"Choose as many as possible. That is all."

"Yes, your highness."

As Sho exited the room, Hotohori lied down on his bed.

'Gomen…Nuriko. Help me go through this.'

Hotohori sighed as his settled his right arm on his forehead, feeling the warm perspiration formed on his forehead that came along with a throbbing headache. He had a fever.

* * *

"_What?! He had come with a fever again?!"_

_The echoes of a certain purple-haired's screams could be heard up till his room._

"_Hotohori!"_

_He grinned dumbly as he saw her grand entrance._

"_What's with that stupid grin, huh? You had a fever again!"_

"_I can't help it, Kohrin," he replied, grinning ear to ear._

"_Ah, go to hell with the 'I can't help it'!" Kohrin replied, giving a stern look at Hotohori. "Tooi, you can leave now. Let me take care of this." Kohrin said calmly, as the maid went out of Hotohori's room. "Sho, get out and go die somewhere. Hotohori needs a serious _clean_ environment here."_

_Sho gave Hotohori the can-I-kill-her look. Hotohori just grinned and shrugged._

"_Very well. If that is what you wish, Mistress Kohrin."_

_Kohrin's eyes tailed the shadows of Sho until she heard the door was slammed shut, shutting off all the sunlight, making the room dim._

"_I'm sorry, Kohrin." Hotohori said, breaking the silence._

_He got no answer, save the hands that were wiping his perspiration with a wet towel, trying to lower the temperature of his body._

"_Kohrin, I'm sorry for troubling you."_

_Still no answer. He frowned. It had been a year since he brought Kohrin to live in the castle. And it had been three years since he sneaked out to meet Kohrin. Knowing about his doings during the night, his father had brought Kohrin in. He was happy for that. He was 17 now. 4 years had passed and yet he had not confessed his feelings._

"_I'm so dumb," he thought out loud._

_Oh shucks. Hotohori silently cursed himself for his lousiness._

"_Hotohori no baka,"_

"_Huh?"_

_Hotohori looked up when he heard the unexpected words. It was then he noticed the tears that dropped one by one like beads of pearls, wetting his clothing._

"_Hotohori no baka!! You got me _very_ worried, you know!" Kohrin repeated, slightly raising her voice. "You got me worried…" she whispered._

_Hotohori was taken aback at the sight before him. Kohrin's beautiful skin was streaked with tears that messed up the make-up she was wearing. She looked so terrible. But still, she was the most beautiful being he had ever encountered. The room was silent except for the sobs emitted by Kohrin._

"_Shh…" Hotohori whispered as he placed his right palm on Kohrin's cheek wiping the tears away from her amethyst eyes. Kohrin looked away. "Hey, hey." Hotohori cupped Kohrin's chin softly, pulling her face to look at him. "You look so terrible, you know."_

_Kohrin, who had returned back to Earth, and heard of Hotohori's comment, laughed softly and smacked Hotohori's forehead with the wet warm towel in her hand. "Baka…" she whispered._

_Hotohori grinned. He took the towel in Kohrin's hand and sat up._

"_Hotohori! You should not -!"Kohrin's protest was stopped halfway as Hotohori's hand cupped her chin again and brought her face nearer to his. Grinning slyly, he wiped Kohrin's face with the towel. A little bit harsh and playful but at the same time, Kohrin could feel the tender softness beneath those touches,_

"_Hotohori! Why you-!"_

_Silent. She felt like the world suddenly stopped spinning as she felt Hotohori's lips on hers. It was her first. And his, too._

* * *

"_Then…then…you are…a MAN?!" Miaka yelped at the shocking revelation._

_Nuriko just laughed the evil-witch style._

"_But-But-You went after Hotohori!"_

"_That's right. I forsake the path of manliness for love."_

"_And you kissed Tamahome!"_

_And Nuriko laughed his evil-witch-style laugh again. Nuriko and Miaka were arguing, oblivious to the fact that someone was watching behind the trees. The person sighed, retreating soundlessly back to their camp site. But that person didn't knew, that Nuriko had noticed him from the very beginning._

* * *

"_So, tomorrow, we'll be setting towards the land of Genbu. Get a good night rest, everyone."_

_Hotohori watched his fellow friends went out of the room, all sleepy. He smiled. He was about to exit the room himself when he caught a glimpse of purple hair near the room. Figures. It was Nuriko. Hotohori was about to leave when…_

"_Matte, Hotohori-sama."_

_Hotohori spun to face Nuriko._

"_I heard you."_

"_Huh?"_

"_I knew you heard me too."_

"_What are you talking about, Nuriko?"_

"_I noticed you peeping on us in the forest. Since the very beginning."_

"_Nuriko, you have to go back to your room to rest."_

"_That's why I never questioned you when you suddenly went all silent on me."_

"_Nuriko, you really-."_

"_I'm sorry, I lied. I'm sorry, Hotohori. I'm really sorry."_

_And he went off._

* * *

'Nuriko…sorry wasn't the answer. I can't forget you. I can't forget the love we shared even when I knew you were a man. Nothing changed. I'm sorry too. Because I had changed.'

"Hotohori-sama."

Hotohori turned to face Sho.

"It's time."

He nodded.

* * *

Among the candidates chosen, he saw one that caught his eyes. The purple hair. It was so familiar.

"Houki! Come forth!"

The girl, named Houki, did as she was told.

"Houki, 18 of age, lives with her dad. Worked as -,"

"Sho. I had decided."

"Wh-What? Are you sure, your highness? We still have another 20 candidates left."

"No. I had made up my mind."

"Then, who- ?"

"Houki."

'Thanks, Nuriko. I knew you'll help me. And I knew you'll be there always by my side. No matter where and how. Whatever happens, I still love you. Because it was you after all, that took away my heart in the first place. And my heart will never return to me, for me to love someone else…because it was you that I love. Forever.'

* * *

Owari

* * *


End file.
